


call me

by doggo_fiends_on_a_spaceship



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: 2x12, Hopeful Ending, M/M, Magnus Bane Deserves Better, but it isn't alec's fault either, have you seen the newest episode bc i want to k i l l m y s e l f, short and sweet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-13
Updated: 2017-06-13
Packaged: 2018-11-13 13:47:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 504
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11186394
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/doggo_fiends_on_a_spaceship/pseuds/doggo_fiends_on_a_spaceship
Summary: i am @doggo-fiends-on-a-spaceship on tumblr if you wanna hit me up or scream at me or whatever





	call me

 

"I'm sorry," Alec said softly.

Magnus glanced over at him, fingers unconsciously fiddling with his rings.

They were sitting several feet apart, a glaring distance that hung between them like a cloud.

Magnus unwillingly remembered Alec's hands on the collar of his shirt- no, not his, but he still  _felt_ it, it felt like his- shoving him against the wall. Remembered the disgust in his eyes, the anger. Remembered Alec gagging him as he was tied down to be murdered, forcing him to be silent and bound. Ignoring his screams and sobs for help, for his mother.

He could still feel it- his lover's gentle hands, forcing him down, hurting him. 

But at the same time...

It wasn't Alec's fault. Magnus knew that. He did.

But that didn't mean that the memories didn't hurt. That Alec's failure to believe him didn't hurt.

Magnus found himself at a loss of words, unable to say anything.

"It's... it's my fault," Alec said, sounding wrecked. "You... I love you, and I didn't... how could I not have seen? And- god, the last thing I want is to make this about me, but... I hurt  _you._ You're... you're not okay."

"No," Magnus murmured softly. "I'm not okay."

Alec looked away, eyes full of pain.

"But it wasn't your fault," Magnus said quietly.

Alec looked up again, dark eyes doubtful.

"It wasn't," Magnus repeated. "I... I'm not okay. And I need some space. But please, Alexander, don't blame yourself. It's not your fault, I just... I just need some time."

"Anything," Alec said, earnest, sad, regretful and hopeful all at once. "You'll be alright?"

"Eventually," Magnus said, eyes going down. "I have Catarina, at least. She'll... she's been there for me before. She'll help. I... I'm sorry."

"Don't be," Alec said firmly. "You need this."

Magnus blinked away tears. 

Alec gave a small, sad smile. "I... I'm here when you're ready, okay?" He got up, heading towards the door. For a moment, he made as if to kiss Magnus, or to brush against his hand. But then he seemed to think better of it, turning away. 

Magnus got up himself, taking a deep breath and walking over to him. He leant forward and very quickly pressed a chaste kiss to Alec's cheek.

It felt like sweet relief, allowing himself to touch Alec again in such a harmless way, even if just for a second.

He wasn't sure if he could've possibly stood more, however- he felt too raw, too vulnerable. But a small kiss on the cheek?

It felt good.

He stepped back before Alec could react. "This isn't goodbye, Alexander," he whispered. "This isn't the end. I love you."

The corners of Alec's lips curled up just slightly. "I love you, too," he said. "Like I said... I'll be here when you're ready. Just... call me?"

He sounded hesitant, unsure.

Magnus smiled. Not quite a full smile, not as warm and bright as it had been before. But a smile. "I'll call," he promised, and he meant it.

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> i am @doggo-fiends-on-a-spaceship on tumblr if you wanna hit me up or scream at me or whatever


End file.
